I'm writing this while waiting for the Vicar to come and visit to discuss the service for Dads funeral which is going to be next Friday afternoon (18th).
I've been trying to pick what music I want playing, what hymms, what prayers and to be honest haven't a clue yet, ok got a few songs in mind but not finalised yet. Only other two funerals I've add input in was Janes & Mums and we had time to prepare for them so knew exactly what stuff they wanted at their funerals, Dad I don't really know but as only cild its down to me. One thing I did at the other two funerals was speak and intend to do it again, think this going to be the hardest though.
Before anyone asks how I am, I'm ok mainly because I've kept myself busy with jobs around the home and making arrangementssuch as Undertakers, contacting people, flowers, grave stone, Solicitors (will), pensions, etc. During the week I went out with the Pool Lads monday, Table Tennis crowd wednesday and last night went with Paula to her darts match (shuld I say OUR dart match cos they were short and got me to play, badly I'll add). Plenty of friends and relatives are keeping in touch but it getting quieter now so reckon the next week up to the funeral will get maybe harder. Its when your alone its worst.
Back to funeral I've still go Mums ashes (she wanted cremation) and have arranged for them to go into the coffin with Dad then they will be together, makes sense with them passing away so close together. I'll then get a stone made with both of them on, got an appointment arrranged to see the stonemasons Monday.
Think the rest of the year I need to get behind me, Christmas is too close and I'm thinking of cancelling it, no tree, no decorations, etc. Saying that I'm unsure what I'll do, Paula suggested I book a holiday and go away at christmas, I'm considering it along with other options. What do you all think ?
A few people have already invited me to spend it with them but as I say I'll keep all options open, wont make any decision until after the funeral thats for sure.
Update - The vicar as been and sort of got the service sorted, just had my tea so now sat here bored which isn't great. TV doesn't appeal tonight so may put a DVD on later, wont be too late out of bed I think. Phone seems quiet for first time so it gonna be long night.
3 comments:
Mick, I think you should go with your gut on your Christmas plans. If putting up a tree or being with others feels like too much, do what feels right to you. Maybe a holiday or maybe spending it with just a few people would work. I'm sure it feels like nothing will really "work," but anyway, I'm thinking of you.
I'm an only child too Mick. Everyone will understand if you want to cancel christmas this year.(I'd wish someone would cancel it permanently, it's a pain in the arse, especially in Australia where it gets too hot to do all the traditional food!) Disappearing over Christmas (with Paula if she can)would be a good idea, so you can grieve, get your head around things, remember your mum and dad and work out your plans for next year. I know thats what I would do because everyone will fuss over you at christmas when you most probably want to be alone. SHARLENE
Reg,
Still thinking about christmas,bt think I'll soon decide something especially after fridays funeral.
Sharlene,
Will probably send cards out of politeness.
If I go away at Christmas it will be without Paula, she is working and as her elderly parents to see to. So would go on a Singles holiday with strangers, done it before (in fact met Paula easter on one).
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