A Big Loss

Its really busted me up losing Dad at the weekend I've taken it very hard. It was a real shock to find him, I'd been away for the weekend actually talked to him on the phone just after lunch Saturday but it appears he passed away early evening. He hadn't had the salad I'd left in the fridge for him which he would have at about 6pm. Also one of the neighbours had been with him in the afternoon until 4pm so its sometime in between.

So it appears he'd been dead 24 hours before found him.

He's had a post mortom to find reason for death and its been caused by a blockage in the arteries stopping bllod and oxygen getting to his heart, the coroner said it would have been very quick and little anyone could have done. That doesn't stop me feeling guilty not been there, wish I was but I know he wouldn't have wanted me to be there 24 hour per day and spoil my life.

He was 86 coming up 87 in January so had a good inings I suppose but that doesn't make it any easier, I've took this much harder than Mum because in some respects that was a relief due to health issues and she was ready to go. Dad had a few health issues himself but nothing we thought life threatening and things seemed to be getting better.

Losing both parents in the same year is devastating to me and gonna take a lot of getting over, my parents did so much for me even though we didn't always see eye to eye, they were always there for me. It was a honour to look after them in their later years as their health failed.

RIP to a great Dad

Easier said than done

Since Mum passed away I've promised Dad I would go through her belongings and get rid of things but I'm finding it difficult to motivate myself to do it. Its my intention to donate most of her clothes to local charity shops, seems the right thing to do.
Trouble is I keep avoiding the job, its as though part of me doesn't want to say goodbye.

Did sort her jewerlry out because she always promised a gold necklace to one of my cousins, actually took it to her on Sunday, had a ride out to North Wales where she lives. Paula came with me and my cousin cooked us a nice sunday lunch.

Still here

Hi everyone just reporting that I'm still here and reading your posts.

The funeral went as well as funerals do, I actually spoke during the service which was something I wanted to do. People said I did well but thats probably them been kind. I'll miss Mum but the sadness does have a bit of relief attatched because she as suffered with a lot of pain in recent years and from things she said I believe she was ready to go.

Things are still going very well with Paula and we are sort of mapping out plans for the rest of the year, planning a few weekends away and a couple of holidays. Off through tonight to see her for a few hours then we'll be spending most of the weekend together.

Weight loss ain't been good as I reported previously, not only with the funeral we've ate out at restaurants and Pubs and not really been counting the calories. So I've abandoned plans and will make a new start following my holiday in mid June.

Actually feel a bit guilty about going on a singles holiday (ash cloud permitting) now I'm dating Paula but I did book it before we met and she's cool about it, think I'll miss her while away.

Goodbye Mum

4th December 1917 - 10th May 2011

Thanks for everything you have done for me, love you always, RIP.



To the Care Home

1. Care Home - With my father going into hospitol for his hip operation tomorrow my Mother is going to stay in a Care Home for a few weeks until he gets back up and running. This Morning we took her down and got her settled in, I still don't like it but really there is no alterative as she is disabled and needs full time care, my Dad is her career.
Anyway when we got her there she was happy cos she knew a lot of the staff, the home is on the estate where we lived when I was a child, the place I grew up. In fact I think half the staff was at school with me. They all come to greet her and there was a cup of tea with biscuits waiting they certainly was trying to make her feel at home, I'm sure she will soon settle.
In the morning I'm taking my Dad to the hospital in York for his operation, we need to be there at 7.30am so will leave at about 6.30am. When I've left him there I'll go visit my Mum to see if she is ok and if she needs anything.

2. Gout - My ankle is still a bit sore and last night when I went to bed I also got a pain in my Knee, it was bad I couldn't get comfy and at about 1am had to get up and take some pain killers. Fortunately the Knee seems ok today but with gout you just can't tell what joint it will attack.

3. Weight Loss - Again a day without exercise due to settling my Mum in, Gout & heavy rain but I've eaten ok today.
My food intake for today was :
Breakfast - 2*Weetabix, 1/2 portion Strawberries, 1/2 portion Blueberries, 1/2pint Orange Juice
Lunch - Vegetable Sup, Slice of Bread
Mid afternoon - Coffee, 2 biscuits.
Dinner - Salad (Lettuce, Ham, Tomato, Spring Onion, Celery, Radish), slice of bread.
Supper - Glass of Milk + maybe a Cracker if I'm hungry
All drinks throughout the day other than those mentioned have been water.

4. Music Choice - A 1972 classic from the Rolling Stones for today "Sweet Virginia", great song, great group, great performance.